Know how to spare yourself

Recently, I had a conversation with a female friend who was in charge in her early 30s. She had not seen her for more than a year. She had changed a lot. She was no longer as angry and frustrated as before. The boss gave her a heavy burden. There was no boyfriend in her thirties.I didn’t have time for myself . Instead, I happily talked about the work plan, brought the team’s experience, and the comfort of buying a new car and taking my mother out to play, I felt that life was beautiful.

  I asked why.

“I figured it out, I decided to spare myself.

“Well,” forgive myself “, I applaud the new woman in front of me.

  Do you have such experience, waking up in the middle of the night for unknown reasons, and wandering into anxiety for a while before falling asleep.

This country of anxiety probably does not fall into the following areas: not enough, not good enough include: not enough money to make enough, not enough time, not enough work details, the home is not clean enough recently, the children ‘s homework has recently noticedNot tight enough, my husband (or boyfriend) has n’t loved me enough recently, weight loss has n’t been insisted on recently, life without a boyfriend (or no children) is not complete . good times are not always good, good luck always runs out of happy timeMrs. Fast, probably not happy for such a happy life now .

Sometimes I unconsciously want to spoil my own good luck, just to prove that my thoughts are right, for example, he obviously loves the other half, and he wants to find him to fight with him at regular intervals.

  Am I really so outstanding?

Will it be a three-legged cat that was dismantled one day?

  We are often worried that we are not good enough. Those who praise us are only temporarily fainted by us. Maybe one day I will be dismantled and not a master of financial management, not a material for writing articles?

  It ‘s bad luck. Every day there are unpleasant things. The car has to be repaired again. The boss always throws things for me to do before work. Every time, I miss the bus (or subway) for a few seconds, and I dragged it for a long time.It’s messy and the forms aren’t filled in, a lot of emails haven’t been processed yet . I often think of the shortcomings in life, which makes people habitually live in the shadow of uneasiness and refuse to spare themselves. Maybe you and I are a bit addicted.
  The reason may be as follows: everything must be used from childhood (from grabbing meat floss to rice, to grabbing a place in the school), otherwise you will not get it; often reminded by the parents and teachers “you can be better”, I feel really badOutstanding, not hard enough; it is justified to think more and cause more than not to worry, because even though the result is still not good, but I feel that I have my responsibilities, and I don’t need to blame myself deeply .

  I also noticed that many of the product advertisements targeted at women are “You deserve this product”, “You deserve to cherish yourself”, “You deserve to spend money to pamper yourself” . I rarely see ads targeted at menUse this wording.

  It seems that this trend is common: men often overestimate themselves, but women often underestimate themselves. Rarely there is a woman who can actually reflect herself. Everyone calls her a “strong woman.”

  American psychologist Bullock once conducted psychological tests on 301 high school seniors and found that although girls ‘academic results are generally better than boys’, and many people have even received Westinghouse scholarships, they are not as confident as boys.

Some are obviously the top few in the class, but they always play the part that they are not good at, and they say, “Oh, I don’t understand the xxx part.

“The boys are different. Most of the time, when they have a chance, they try to show what they know, and they almost never talk about the less good ones.

  Another sociologist, Marindruck, has also found that women are generally less optimistic than men; they also endure anxiety at different levels, and women are less likely to be men than men.

  In a common family, women save money, but men spend money more casually. Maybe women grow up in a culture that treats women as weak. They are used to pessimistic thinking and are afraid to be disappointed. Maybe they are born more realistic than men and worry about things.More.

  In addition, there are inferences in the sociology and psychology circles, which may be related to the fact that society has only given women control in recent decades.

  Women have to learn to feel in control of their own lives, a new experience that has only recently occurred.

How to spare yourself, you need to develop a habit: if past experience reminds you repeatedly that you are not worth every day happiness, then you have to build your own mentality and remind yourself every day, “Of course I deserve to be happy and happy, things will changeThe better “.

  Some people have suggested reminding yourself to repeat the chant a few times a day on the mirror or on the desk (my trial experience, I think it is still effective).

  When being praised by others, don’t reject or doubt it, but write it down as evidence or receipt. The exaggeration point is to send to the person you care about. The purpose is to “expand and strengthen self confidence” and remind others to continue to praise you.Let’s check each other out.

  People who love to use computers may wish to save it in the file of “enhancing self-confidence”, so that they can go in at any time and cheer themselves up.

Why a lover is always a good life for others is a lot of little joys and small accomplishments. We are trapped in many trivial matters every day, causing them to be transferred, so that we ca n’t see or remember that we have all the small accomplishments of this and that.And the happy moment of interaction between people, these little bits of achievement and happy moments are happy lives.

  However, most people are committed to pursuing special achievements and special moments. As a result, they always feel that they have nothing to do and have no happiness, and they are unwilling to spare themselves.

  Too close to see a tree, take a step back to see the whole forest.

Look too close to the subway, see the car next to it, it is crowded and messy, take a step back to see the entire train, turn neatly and brightly, and pick you up to the next successful place.

  Next time you’re afraid, ask yourself what the worst would be.

You will find that, in fact, it is not so big. Before asserting that you will not always have good luck or happiness, ask yourself whether you have made such an argument based on past experience or current facts.

Don’t look at what you don’t have, look at what you have.